Stupidest thing you've heard??

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albatross

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I'd like to start a thread that everyone can relate to
the stupidest thing thats ever been said to you while in your van

we broke down in warwick last year and just managed to splutter into the car park of a campsite to which the campsite owner say's
'ere mate you can't break down there' :roll:
 
Him ..................i cant understand why you are always working on that, surely the radio is worth more than the van"

Me............. " what? "

Him.................." well they dont fetch much do they being that old"


And the sad thing is he was serious!!
 
... Is it one of those proper ones with a split screen on the front like the Halifax advert? ..

..and walks off disappointed when realises it isn't 'a real one'

Cock ..
 
look he has got material on his bonnet......... (heard an old couple talking about my vunderbra whilst walking by) :lol: :lol:
 
When parked up on the seafront, one lovely summer's day, someone walked up to my driver's window... "sorry to bother you, but will you be opening up shortly? I would like to buy a 99 Flake...." :lol:
 
went to look at a van for sale with a mate, we went in his van, some scallys come over to us

scallys - 'ere mate how old's ya van?'

Us - 'it's a 68'

scallys - '68? f**kin hell thats older than me grandad'

classic ignorance
 
"You should be in Newquay in that not bloody working on it"
To be fair he has a point...but he says it every f%$kin time he see's me :evil:

This is the same guy who looked at my bike in the garage last week and said "still got your bike then"....of course i have or it wouldn't be in the bleedin garage know would it.

He also loves walking around my cars pointing out all the flaws....COCK!
 
One thats not particularly stupid .. or relevant now i think about it ..

but I need to air this grievance!

Some small 'child' with what can only be described as a cockney accent.. ( forgive me my southern friends as I am a mere Yorkshireman ;) ) ran up to my bus while i was parked up in Newquay.

Although I kind of like the attention they get .. this kid was particularly annoying..

that was nothing till 'dad' arrived and says 'yeah son .. I had one of them' .. I asked politely what he had had and he said .. ' yeah one of them old camper things ..'

.. yeah right mate !

Then the icing on the cake .. the kid says ' go on dad .. buy it off him!'

bloke looked at me and says .. ' yeah, i think i might son..'

........ :shock:

.......... ' Fer Kof pal '

Still winds me up till this day!

Hilly
 
You got my vote Hilly , that was really stupid to say , scary to think that boy will grow up to be a bigger jerk than his old man.
 
Not VW related but its definitly the stupidest thing ive heard.

I was shopping for some shoes and saw some i liked and gave the girl working in the shop the one off the shop floor and asked if she had it in black size 10. (the shoe was black but the wrong size)

She comes back about 10 mins later and says "sorry i havent got it in black 10, but weve got a brown 8" She didnt even seem to realize that that my foot wouldnt fit in it, never mind it was the wrong colour.
Needless to say i left the shop.
 
clyde said:
Not VW related but its definitly the stupidest thing ive heard.

I was shopping for some shoes and saw some i liked and gave the girl working in the shop the one off the shop floor and asked if she had it in black size 10. (the shoe was black but the wrong size)

She comes back about 10 mins later and says "sorry i havent got it in black 10, but weve got a brown 8" She didnt even seem to realize that that my foot wouldnt fit in it, never mind it was the wrong colour.
Needless to say i left the shop.

lol thats classic! you should have asked her if she had a knife to cut all of your toes off :p
 
when im in my crewcab, did you make that yourself? out of a camper?

wish my sheet metal work was that good!

and its been asked more than once :)
 
clyde said:
Not VW related but its definitly the stupidest thing ive heard.

I was shopping for some shoes and saw some i liked and gave the girl working in the shop the one off the shop floor and asked if she had it in black size 10. (the shoe was black but the wrong size)

She comes back about 10 mins later and says "sorry i havent got it in black 10, but weve got a brown 8" She didnt even seem to realize that that my foot wouldnt fit in it, never mind it was the wrong colour.
Needless to say i left the shop.

LOL, i hate when they do that, you ask for some shoes in a certain colour and they go off to check and come back with another colour saying we have them in this colour. If i wanted them in that colour................ :evil:
 
When I was conked out in the middle of a motorway service petrol station with a failed battery some pillock pulled up in a transit and exclaimed 'you should have got a mazda bongo' in all seriousness (turned out he was a salesman).....needless to say,I didn't even bother to try and explain :mrgreen:

Amazing how many people won't even bother to help push you to one side either, in the end some dudes in a classic Porsche came and gave a hand 8)

Also had some classics out of a prize know-it-all when we were in New Zealand, and the points gap had closed up and it wouldn't start after I stalled trying to reverse out of a footpath I'd accidently driven down (don't ask :lol: ) 'Sounds like a flat battery' and 'could be due to all the oil' to name but a few...doh!

Olly
 
I took the bus down to the caravan for the 1st time the other week, and my wife comes back from the water hole, saying the guy accross the way was admiring the bus, saying "his brother has an imaculate one in the garage and he wants to buy it off him, but the brother says he wont cause he dont recon he will pay the £3k its worth" :lol: I was like, you did tell him its worth more than his damn fancy caravan :evil: :lol:

Just
 
Being as tho it wandered off topic a little ..

Heres a classic conversation between my mate and his wife after they had had the decorators in and had made the room somewhat darker :

Bloke "Im not sure about it , I think it makes the room look smaller .."

Missus "Do you think all the furniture will still fit?"

Honestly .. that was a real conversation!
 
Conversation whilst discussing replacing girlfriends knackered old Mk3 golf.

Girlfriend:I wouldn't mind one of those other Golfs.

Me: Which ones?

Girlfriend: Those green ones.

:lol:
 
Just remembered a classic!
Conversation between myself and an ex of mine

Me: "your waters run out in your windscreen bottle"

EX "I know it ran out ages ago"

Me: "Well why didn't you fill it up?"

EX: "oh...i thought it filled up automatically when it rained???"

Me: Slaps forehead and walks out the door.......
 

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