Newbie Observations...

[valbarley]

Having got my first ever (first time I have even been in one) bus 2 weeks ago, would just like to make the following observations...

• I now have muscles in my arms from steering I didn't know existed
  I am getting very adept at doing 3 point turns on mini islands
  Brakes are highly overrated, I'm sure it will stop eventually
  I have to drive it like a bike, accelerate like bllx down the hill to try and get up the other side
  Global warming does not exist in the inside of my van. I can now see why drivers gloves were popular in the 60s. And scarfs and hats and sheepskin jackets.
  The engine is at the back so I can't hear what is going on
  There was no rain in the 60's or my wipers are on a go slow
  The windscreen wash is purely for entertainment value. Whilst sitting in traffic I can play 'Will the water squirt reach the wiper blade?'
  My van is like the crystal Maze, I have a different key for every panel
  I need to diet. If I put any weight on, or my legs get any longer I will not fit in the driver seat
  Radio looks lovely and retro. Only problem is I have to sing to the bus, as it doesn't actually produce any noise
  The headlights work off one of the 3 buttons with identical pictures on. I am veering towards the middle button atm
  I always have my phone on fully charge and AA on speed dial now
  I am booking her into PA (Petrol Anonymous) as she appears to have a huge drinking habit
  People hang out their cars and make strange signs at me. At first I thought it was abuse, but it appears I have joined some funny club like the Masons and need to learn the funny handshakes
  Is the best feeling in the world going past (the other direction obviously) another bus. I actually got bottled up when he flashed his headlights. If I ever learn where the full beam is I will reciprocate, rather than do mad waving signs
  They are wicked, and love it!

 

[uber cool]

You forgot to mention you probably have a big grin on your face whilst driving it!

 

[betsy70]

lmao ive pinched this mate so true and was peeing myself with laughter just reading it

 

[hamster]

stolen as well :lol:

 

[Shorty]

2 weeks in and you've just about got it spot on! welcome to the club!

 

[Mickey Sam]

You sure your user name's not not ,'valbarmy' :lol:

Mate , that made me laugh, welcome to the forum.

You''l have to run the bus for a while longer and update the observation list !

 

[Rosie]

You just made a grown woman cry... oh dear, I must be even more soppy than I thought!

(we are newbies too btw )

 

[judge_smudge]

Ha ha, so good and so true

 

[67panel]

wait till you go away,the things you need first or in a hurry will be under the pile of sleeping bags /awning /seats .how do I know :msn4:

 

[kateagries]

So funny! Im reading this at work trying to giggle ever so quietly - Not happening, brilliant

 

[simo]

Good post :mrgreen: welcome to the club lol

 

[rallye dale]

Lmao :mrgreen:

 

[ib-bus]

Brought back memories of my first drive on a bus , all true.
My first minutes at work and I already have a big smile on my face , thank you.

 

[69billy]

weve not driven one yet, cant wait now, it sounds fab thanks

 

[sparkywig]

Perhaps it's time to repost this again.


You know when you drive a VW bus when....

1. you come to a "reduced speed ahead" sign and you were already going that speed.

2. you have to, for whatever reason, get out of your bus to start it.

3. you see flashing lights in the rear-view mirror, the speedo isn't the first thing you check.

4. you spent more time picking out the curtains in your bus, than the one's in your house.

5. you start out speeding towards a hill, and still end up at the top with a line of cars behind you. "Hey, at least I look cool."

6. you pass a bonfire, but you still glance down at your lights and look in the rear to see if your engine is not on fire

7. when approaching a hill you automatic head for the crawler lane.

8. you are so prepared for a breakdown that not only do you actually carry a full toolbox with you at all times, but also blankets, pillows and snacks enough to live comfortably should the repair be out of your reach.

9. you leave 20 minutes early and still arrive 5 minutes late.

10. you carry a 3 1/2 ton floor jack with , just in case you need to pull the motor!

11. you empty your pockets at night and along with the spare change there is a 10mm and 13mm wrench

12. you can find your parking spot, because of the oil leak

13. shifting into 4th gear includes the use of a bungy cord.

14. you see a Bus stopped on the side of the road, you actually stop and help them out

15. you pass a scrap yard and wonder if they have the parts you need.

14. it takes you 20 minutes to stop at a petrol station, because everyone wants to talk to you about your Bus

15. you give high fives when passing another car...uphill.

16. every time someone reaches for the sliding door handle you start to panic and yell "be careful, that comes right off!"

17. you ask your wife, "can you smell petrol?"

18. you have a radio but don't listen to it cause you're listening to the motor.

19. you have a permanent red mark on your back from the springs of the seat poking you in the back.

20. you know who John Muir is and you actually think you can converse with him telepathically to help fix your bus

21. you have ever installed a door hinge to make your accelerator pedal work

22. your friends always ask to borrow tools when you stop by, because they know you're carrying them with you.

23. you pop your top and eat lunch in the parking lot at work so you "feel like you are camping"

24. you can diagnose engine problems only using your sense of smell.

25. you recognize your friends by the vehicle rather than their face.

26. feet protruding from the under the rear of a vehicle seem normal.

27. weather plays no role in you decision whether or not to go camping.

28. you get up in the morning actually looking forward to the drive to work

29. there's both frost on the inside as well as the outside of your windows

30. you spend your work day planning your next camping trip instead of working

31. part of your household budget includes a "bus needs" section

32. the drive to anywhere you go is the most adventurous part of the trip.

33. you start rocking your body back and forth to get the extra speed up a hill!

34. you slow down to look at the vehicles reflection in shop windows.

35. you carry a towel with you to wipe the windshield because your defroster doesn't work.

36. no matter what happens, you can always live in your bus.

 

[Harlequin]

but tucked into the empty wallet will be a bit note of bits & parts you "need"

 

[tommy2bob]

As a fellow newbie i really enjoyed this post, particuarly liked the observation about the headlamp buttons, good to know its not just me only realise that one of them is for the interior light, on discovering this i realised why they were not working (but not before buying a new bulb/tube)
My blog is here : http://barbarathevwbus.blogspot.co.uk/

 

[scott wilson]

items 10,11 and 22 made me piss my pants :mrgreen:

 

[marco]

No. 21... I actually thought the bus' lack of acceleration was because it was soo old, took weeks to realise that the acc. pedal went side ways as much as it went down on "full-throttle'' Once fixed 15mph hillclimbs were a thing of the past.. for a while... If anyone was stuck behind MJM123K on a easter weekend in the lakes about 14 yrs ago I,m sorry

 

[marco]

Another few..
your reading literature in the bathroom is various aircooled parts catalogues.
you don't have to stop for coffee, your partner brews up while you drive.
you start worrying what's fallen off when noises stop.
you breath a sigh of releif when the noise returns.
you never get lost because you always have plenty of time to read the roadsign/map/diversion.
your christmas list contains only bit's for your van or various tools.
sure there's more...