i dont know there all this talk about boring halfords plumbers vans, and along comes a guy with a van thats got serious unusual mods or should that be un usable and not even an offer of intent, sod it print all the 19"rimmed t4 saxo things you like.
List of mods to make ya cream your pants with jealousy.
1 James bond smoke screen fitted, well sort of, hit the gas, hit 3500rpm and hey presto the guy behind has vanished in a cloud of black stuff.
2 Fully integrated key less entry. well lock it with the button on the door(inside) and climb in and out the side window and slide shut , entry is opposite
3 time warp airide sytem.. after entry as above, hit the time warp airide system start and wait till the end of flipping time for the compressor to do anything.
4 fully lightened and no so balanced 17" fuchs... well fronts are nearly slicks and the amount of curbing can only have made them half the original weight.
5 fully green for the huggers. i found a plant pot with a plant still in it wrapped around the air comp, might explain above mod.
6 fully lightened chassis with two tone paint. rust and holes
7 new jacking points for speedy changes. as above
8 nuclear reactor heating... 1 setting on of nowt.
9 shaved and lightened battery... went cheap and bought a halfords batt that wouldnt fit so =shaved the sides off the blighter and it shoe horned right in
10. run flat tyres... no spare. have run one flat for a bit hence the lightened rim, no jacking points or usable chassis remember the above
11 hi fi only tweeter only stereo system.
12 patina inside too, er stains and rust.
13 hi tolerance engine.... bloody thing wont die
14 auto window have a complete mind off their own
15 full burnt out proof traction control... fucked clutch too
16 handbrake turn proof . think its held on with a sausage as dont work and not looked either
17 Return journey only Sat Nav....... follow the parts that fell of in a Hansel and Grettle style
18 Semi safari windows... front window is falling out and held with bathroom sealant.
19 Street sleeper... most mods hidden from view to stop would be papparazi and jealousy, or on the spot bidding wars.
all other mods are far too top secret to be out in the open however i will reveal all in my centre spread in can b, ultra and airmighty, ill let em fight over it
ps other bus is modded too but in a surprisingly more modest way and seems to get the glory , phew thell be doing articles on stock buses next
Please dont inbox me or put articles in the press about you intentions to buy the vito, i know how you feel but im keeping him until the end, which i fear may not be too far away. ill put an address up when that happens for donations and flowers thanks
jth..
can c and b do a page a month to the best / worse bodge jobs i reckon it would rock
